A boy and his worries
by Confusious
Summary: Soap's son has a question that he was not expecting...


"Hey Dad."

Soap looked up from the holo screen. He knew his son was coming before he even made it to the doorway and his concern spiked when he saw the anxious expression on Luke's face.

"What's the matter boyo?" Soap closed the holo screen and smiled, encouraging the boy to come closer. Luke gingerly walked over and Soap hoisted him onto his lap. The boy was nine and almost too big, but if he was upset over what his father suspected, he needed all the support he could get "Why the long face?" Luke didn't answer. His long eyelashes blocked Soap's view "Did your sister steal your pencils again?"

"No."

"Did your mother drop another black sock into the whites?" Luke cracked a smile.

"No."

"Did your brother eat the last bit of ice-cream again?"

"Dad, that was you last time!"

"Oh no, we're not getting into that." Soap chuckled, relieved to have broken the tension. Luke was a bright bulb like his mother, whereas Eric was more serious like him. Poppy was seven and already had a glare that could melt icebergs. Melissa quipped it was a family trait from her mother's side.

"Dad, how did you know when you were in love with Mum?"

Soap's brows shot up to his hairline. Not the question he was expecting, and it threw him slightly. He knew his children made "icky" noises when he and Melissa made displays of affection in their line of sight but he was not anticipating Luke to have paid serious attention.

"Well, let's see now." Memories flashed through Soap's brain; rescuing Melissa from her icy cell in Germany, seeing her recover, holding her through her nightmares and watching her back when they scoured the world to rid it of Ultranationalists…the feeling he got earlier in their relationship when other men on the base were looking at her "Your mother and I went through a lot together, but we weren't seeing each other for long before I knew she was the one for me."

"But _how_?" Luke pressed. His father laughed.

"I couldn't stop looking at her for one – your mother is gorgeous." Luke nodded in agreement "But when you love someone it's not about looks; it's about how you feel. Your mother could hold her own, she still can, but I wanted to protect her from all the bad things in the world. When we first met, war was still going on and there were terrible things happening. My job was stopping the bad, that's what soldiers do. We fight, train, fight, sleep and fight some more. But Mummy? She made me want a life _besides_ fighting and training."

"Mummy wanted you to stop being a soldier?"

"Yes and no. I'm always going to be a soldier; you just can't stop being one overnight. But your Mum made me realise there's more to life than fighting. She made me happy. She was something I knew was worth protecting. We were both alone in our own ways for a long time; but when I married her I promised to never let her feel alone again."

"So you can't live without Mummy?"

Soap snorted.

"I could try but I wouldn't live properly without her."

"Mum says she can't live without you, either." Soap smiled at his son's words.

"That's good to hear."

"So, when you love someone, you want to protect them? You can't live without them?"

"There is no one way to love, Luke. Honestly, I didn't know if I would be able to love someone, but then your mother crashed into my life."

"Did her dad try to chase you away with a pitchfork too?" Luke asked innocently and Soap frowned. Price had told Luke the barn date he had with Trish in their teens; he could only hope it was the rated G version.

"What did Pop say to you?" he asked suspiciously.

"That Nan used to live on a farm, and that her daddy chased him away while they were playing hide and seek in the barn." Nice cover, old man.

"No, your Papa liked me, but he thought I was too…serious for your mum." Luke played with his hands, distracted. Soap looked around at him to catch his eyes. "Is there someone that _you_ love, Lucas?" Soap used the full name to show his son that he was being serious. Luke nodded. "You feel like protecting them?" Another nod "You really like being around them?" A small smile with a nod this time "Who is it?" There was a pregnant pause "A kid at school?" Soap tried not to look alarmed when Luke suddenly began to cry. He just held Luke tightly to his chest like he used to when the boy was a baby "Oh, oh boyo, what's the matter?"

"It's love Daddy, but it's not the same as you and Mummy!"

"How is it not the same?"

"Because the person I love isn't a girl!" Soap closed his eyes and made an effort not to stiffen at his son's words. He had suspected for a while, as had Melissa, but they didn't want to raise the issue with their son until he felt like he was ready. Did Soap have a problem with it? It certainly wasn't what he imagined one of his kids to be like, but he didn't love Luke any less. In a way he was relieved his son could tell him about his feelings this early on. Soap gently pushed Luke's torso away from his and looked him in the eyes – blue, like his own.

"Now listen to me. Wipe those tears away." Lucas sniffed and did as he was told "I just told you there is no one way to love. Everyone is _different_."

"But Dad, it's _weird_."

"Says who?"

"Jane Whirter, in my class." Soap's face hardened against his will. Jane was a little bully who liked belittling the other girls in the class and taking other kids property. She nearly got away with Luke's paints until Melissa pointed the incident out to Jane's parents, who insisted that Jane was only _borrowing_ them. "Hard to give them back when you shove them in the bottom of your bag." Melissa had snorted. Jane had returned the paints but still made class difficult for Luke, who was naturally kind and polite. That little princess gave every parent the shits. "She said that I was weird because I liked boys and not girls." Soap's blood was boiling now and Luke could see it.

"I'm sorry Daddy."

The quiet apology snapped Soap out of his red haze and he looked down at his son in confusion.

"For what, son?"

"For not being normal." Soap could _hear_ his heart shattering "I'll try to be better."

"No, you won't."

"Huh?" Now it was Luke's turn to be confused "But I'm _weird_ , Daddy."

"Luke, do you know what's weird? Most of what your Uncle Lewis does. But you are not, understand me?" Luke looked dumbfounded "Jane is a mean little monster and what she said was cruel. What else did she say to you?"

"You and Mummy won't love me because I'm different." Soap worded a long curse in his head aimed at that little brat. Time to nip this in the bud.

"Luke, understand this. Mummy and I will _always_ love you. Just because you like boys doesn't mean we won't." Lucas looked relieved, and that served to make Soap's heart ache even more. This had genuinely terrified his son "And this boy, whoever he is, is lucky that you love him."

"I don't think he loves me, though."

"And why not?"

"Because I saw him holding hands with Kelly." Soap supressed a snort. Kelly Creed was Rook's daughter and a year younger than his twins.

"Well that's the boy's loss then." Soap smiled and Luke grinned back at him, obviously relieved by his father's response to his confession.

"But Dad," Luke frowned just as quickly as he smiled "will I ever like girls?"

"I can't answer that for you, boyo. If you do, fine. If you don't, that's fine to. I don't care if you love a boy or a girl, so long as you're happy." Luke threw his arms around his father's neck and Soap held on tightly. His son's admission hit him harder than an IED, but he was relieved for both of them. Luke wasn't carrying such a burden anymore about his identity, and Soap while still reeling and grappling with the news, found it easier to accept than he anticipated. But now he had to go and called Jane Whirter's father and reiterate to that man about what a _brat_ that child was to his boy.

"Thanks Daddy." Luke's voice was muffled into Soap's shoulder and his dad rubbed his back.

"Anytime boyo, anytime. I love you."

"You too. Can I go and paint now?" Soap almost laughed. Luke had forgotten that _he_ had come to Soap in the first place.

"Sure, but wear your smock this time. Mummy nearly had a fit when she was washing your shirts the other day."

"Okay." Luke hopped down from Soap's knee and practically bounced out the door. As soon as his son was out of earshot, Soap heaved a massive sigh and sank back into his chair, rubbing his hands on his face. What a brutal ten minutes. He would rather go three rounds with a raging Ultranationalist than go through that emotional bomb again.

"That was amazing." Soap looked up to see Melissa in the doorway staring at him, teary-eyed. Soap sat up properly and shrugged.

"He's our boy; I'm his dad. It's a part of the job." Melissa walked over and sat on Soap's lap like their son had just done. For a long moment they just sat, holding each other. Soap breathed in Melissa's Jo Malone cologne she had taken to wearing, feeling his heartbeat slow down. His emotions had run the equivalent of a marathon "I have some calls to make, though, sounds like."

"You can yell at Mr. Whirter tomorrow. But Lucas did say one thing that stuck with me."

"What's that?"

"Did you really eat the last of the icecream?"


End file.
